3/1/2024 0 Comments I want to quit drinkingThere is the very human element of my personality that still seeks pleasure and wants to avoid pain, but with a clearer mind I can sit with my discomfort and meet confrontations with more patience and acceptance than I ever could in the past. In my case, I used it to avoid feelings of not being enough and allowed intoxication to make me feel powerful, funny and emboldened. I would argue it only buries it until it mutates into a much more ugly monster. One of alcohol’s big lies is that it blunts the pain. The aspects of your personality that make you uncomfortable or incite pain don’t simply disappear once you eliminate drinking. Demand for alcoholic beverages is decreasing, especially among the Gen Z generation This isn’t an uncommon response Davis-Timms says that “sobriety becomes an identity shift.” Reassessing my life without alcohol went deeper than what I drank – it shot straight to my inner core. When I decided to stop drinking, I felt like my identity was no longer stable. Getting sober was an act of dissent for me as well, but with unintended consequences. For Price, sobriety was the “‘most rebellious thing’’’ she’d ever done, a fully conscious rejection of the culture of alcohol. Without alcohol and its drowning effects, parenting and work feel easier, and she’s able to enjoy life more. She wrote that while she believed she was in control of her alcohol use and had the intention of taking a sustained break from drinking, after reading Quit Like a Woman by Holly Whitaker she decided to quit for good in January 2021. Relying on alcohol to assuage the brunt of cyberbullying or the uncertainties of a musical career was no longer cutting it. The country singer-songwriter Margo Price published an essay in GQ in March 2021 about her decision to quit drinking after one too many stressors caused by the pandemic, including her canceled tours. But it still requires a willingness to go against the grain. Whereas problematic drinking used to be hushed or relegated to the edges of polite conversation, confined to anonymous meetings often held in church basements, abstaining from alcohol is increasingly destigmatized. “Sober-curious” or “mindful drinking” are now familiar phrases Sober October and Dry January are popular trends. If you feel isolated, you will not succeed in sobriety.” “Sobriety won’t stick unless a person can find a social circle they connect with. Licensed professional counselor Colleen Davis-Timms, who specializes in alcohol and addiction, agrees that a strong and accepting social network is an integral part of staying sober. There was no shortage of laughter or fun or inappropriate banter and the support my friends gave me aided my resolve. Sobriety was enhancing my connection to my friends. One night we all decided to go out dancing, and I didn’t need a beer or shot to do so. If a few in our group opted to go to a bar for a beer after dinner, I didn’t object but I didn’t join them. Each morning I woke up early and walked on the beach, relishing the solitude and my beachcombing finds. An affirmation-laced jest from someone who knew me for so long and so well.įor the most part, I could float on top of the waves of temptation during our island stay. Claire’s invocation of my endearing yet antagonistic nickname from college made me feel so very normal. I snorted but it was a feigned annoyance. Claire ended the call with, “I’m so proud of you, Maggot.” ![]() ![]() With my children squawking in the background, I told Claire that I appreciated her thoughtfulness. Thanks to months of addiction-focused group therapy and a concerted effort to unravel the hold alcohol use disorder had on my life, I now felt less vulnerable discussing any potential triggers that would lead me to drinking. If this call had taken place earlier in my recovery, I would have felt much more uncomfortable. My friends knew that I was no longer drinking, and Claire called me from the Dominican Republic, where she was now living with her family, to gauge my comfort level with staying at an all-inclusive resort and the readily available supply of alcohol. It was a part of the pre-trip planning conversation, mixed into group text messages about coordinating flights and booking the hotel. Very few topics of conversation are off-limits among my friends and alcohol was no exception. What was the worst that could happen, I mused, if I had a glass of wine at dinner? Would I feel out of place with my friends who had known me as the wild child – would they still like me? Would just one piña colada hurt? I was nervous before my trip and had confided in my husband. Although we were well past infamous antics from our college days, this joint 40th birthday celebration presented the potential for nostalgia-inspired fun and that usually included alcohol. ![]() Now it was spring and I was thousands of miles from home, where snow still lingered in the high country.
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